Our Heroine Conquers An Actual Pattern

As it’s the first of June (yes, already. I know – zoomy old year isn’t it?) it’s clearly time for me to show you the completed May section of the temperature scarf. Which I will now do.

Temperature Scarf for MayWith the exception of some pleasingly patterned days in the low to high 20s, May has been almost entirely between 15 and 19 degrees. The stitch marker I’m using to hold the last stitch is black, which despite knowing full well I’m using a black stitch marker does tend to make me say “millipede!” as they are all over the house at the moment. As much as I do love and adore insects, millipedes are not my favoured house guests. Quite apart from the smell of them, there’s the horrible moment of wandering barefoot through the house and feeling the squish of them underfoot. Blech.

Temperature Scarf up to the end of May

And here’s the whole thing. I was quite right when I said it’d be wider again by the end of May, so go me. Practically a psychic, as it happens. I was planning to lay it out on the bench again, but today was damp and misty and I couldn’t be bothered going outside with a camera and endless scarf. Lazy, true, but at least I’d done all the weaving in of ends before I took the photo this time. Half a gold star?

Now, on to my terribly exciting crochet related news. One fundamental thing about my crochet is this: I cannot read patterns with any amount of ease. I can read them eventually and can just about manage an amigurumi doll as long as there’s nothing too fancy happening in the pattern, but overall I can stare at the pattern for an hour and be no closer to understanding what it is I’m supposed to be doing. Logically, I know “tr” means treble and “ch” means chain – logically, the pattern should be clear as a bell, but for whatever reason I just stare at these abbreviations and think “Why can’t anyone use their words??” (I have been known to write out entire patterns long hand just to get something done).

This brings us neatly to something which has baffled and confused me since I first picked up a crochet hook: The Granny Square. “The Granny Square?” you may be saying, “That most simple of crochet constructions, done in their dozens by people who aren’t even really paying attention because there’s something good on the telly?” to which I can only reply “Yes” because despite many many attempts, I always ended up with a sort of interesting knot rather than a nice granny square.

This was a source of annoyance for me. Well not really annoyance. Botheration? I mean it wasn’t ruining my life in any way, but every now and then I’d drag out a pattern and a hook and try try try again, adding to my Interesting Knot collection as I went. You see, there’s something solid and good about a granny square. Something sturdy, and maybe a little bit old fashioned. They put me in mind of many things, all of them comfortable and warm. We had for many years an afghan made of two giant granny squares. Obviously, they also remind me of my grandmother though that may be entirely due to the name of the things as I don’t recall her making any in my presence.

So with Winter leaping about the place and a yearning for something warm and snuggly, I discovered that I really, really wanted a granny square shawl. Something to throw around myself for walking the dogs or popping down to the shops, something old fashioned and a little bit daggy. And this, ladies and gents, is where we come to the triumph of my week. Are you ready? You might like to make a little drumroll sort of sound with your mouth.

Granny Square

Would you look at that thing? Those of you who’ve done 9 million of them will be saying “That’s nice dear” but it took me not one but two “How to crochet” books, each of which had a different pattern. The granny you see before you is a hodge podge of both patterns. Extensive editing of the book I’m more likely to keep (with a biro, thank you) has left me with a pattern I understand and which produces grannies with the minimum of brain ache. Okay so it’s a little bit wonky, but everything I do is really.

So now I can make that shawl for the Winter, and possibly even finish it during Winter, which is exciting. Apart from this square, which I think I’ll frame. With a little down light shining on it. In a humidity controlled room. Oh, and I’ll get one of those motion activated sound effect thingies so that every time I walk by, I get a small round of applause.

2 comments

  1. Evie/Bronwyn says:

    I love it! Loads of giggles about your Granny Square.

    Every living member of my family happens to have an absolutely ENORMOUS blanket (large enough to cover a King-Size Bed) made exclusively from Granny Squares, crochet’d by my lovely Aunt. Where she found the will to finish even one, is a mystery to me. Especially mine, since when I was invited to select my two colours, I chose “Cream” and ” Just A Little Bit Lighter Cream”.

    What can I say, I like neutral things.

    I’m a huge fan of your temperature scarf. Not only because the concept is really cool, and it looks a bit like it belongs on the set of Doctor Who circa 1983, but because at the end of the year, you’ll have something really solid to show for the passing of a whole 12 months, and I can’t think of a single thing that I’ll have to show the same.

    Honestly, I can’t do anything for more than a day or two at a time before forgetting and ultimately, giving it up. So well done, you. As always, you give me something to admire and to aspire to.

    <3 from Me.

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